long time coming...

I'm finally settled in an absolutely loving my new environment. Who would have ever thought that I'd find the [almost] perfect job for myself an entire year earlier than expected. The summer was filled with a lot of question marks. Just when I thought my life was going smoothly , everything changed in an instant. I was presented with a job offer that in my eyes was ideal for exactly what I wanted in a first job...and after much deliberation, I finally decided that it was right for me...even if it wasn't at the most ideal time. In a perfect world, I would have finished my degree where I was in MA, and found my first job somewhere close to my future hubby. But my world is not perfect...far from it...and it never ceases to amaze me. So here I am...in good ole' Nacogdoches, Texas starting this chapter as the 'Jacks newest assistant coach. In just two months here I have absolutely fallen in love. The staff is great...the kids are a pleasure even in all of their special-ness...and I'm never felt more at home to not be quite at home per say. I'm embracing my new east Texas accent and indulging in having sweet tea with almost every meal. But with all my happiness, it takes everything out of me not to focus all my attention on missing my boyfriend. There are only so many distractions in a day, but day by day we are maintaining. God has a special plan for us, and sometimes I wish it would just be evident to me like ummm...yesterday. But it's not. So I manage. We manage. And one day I know things will be perfect just like I imagined. So until then I'll keep living my dream...being an inspiration and providing hope...one athlete at a time.

welcome to the motherland...

So currently as I type I am in the Cape Town International Airport. We have about 5 more hours before we head back to the states and I have to say that I have mixed feelings about leaving. I love being an American, and this trip has taught me a bit about valuing the little things around me, but at the same time this is the most beautiful place I've ever visited and I am a huge sucker for gorgeous scenery. I'll put up pics of my entire summer vacation (down the eastern seaboard, across the gulf coast and over the big pond) when I get some time and get settled. It's been a summer of mixed emotions...but I survived. And now I have a whole new chapter in my life to look forward to AFTER I move my life back from Massachusetts.

But for now I'm off to check in for my flight across the big pond...

new addition...

It's official...I'm the newest member of the Stephen F. Austin State University Track and Field Staff!!!!!!

Starting September 1, I will begin my first season as an Assistant Coach at SFA, coaching horizontal jumps and assisting in hurdles and relays. I'm super excited with this new position and I pray that God will guide me in the right direction as I make this next step in my life.

While I can't say I will miss Massachusetts or the snow, I will miss the team that I am leaving, because they are the ones that kept me going through the hard times. What sucks even more is that I wont be able to give a proper good bye due to the summer time decision.

However, I am ready and eager to start my new life, and I ask for support and prayers along the way. This seems to be a promising opportunity for me, and I look to learn, grow, and excel to the best of my ability.

sigh...

Seems like it's been forever and a day...and I guess in a sense it really has.

Some days it seems like so much has happened since my last post...and then other days it seems like I'm stuck in time.

The season ended well...another personal best for the relay. I had to cut my time in Mass short by a few days due to an unexpected family death, but it was extremely nice to go home and spend quality time with family and friends. The highlight of my time home was being with my brothers. Sometimes I forget how over the years they have truly stole my heart and being with both of them (even doing the most random things) makes me melt all over again. This was the first time (in a LONG time) that the baby (who's not so much a baby anymore) has actually wanted to hang with me. It was awesome. He rode with me everywhere...spent countless hours watching tv...and slept with me every night I was with him. Just thinking about it make me smile.

On another note...I am the newest certified truck driver lol. Ok so not really, but I did make a 10.5 hour drive after just getting off a 4 hour plane ride back from Texas. Currently I'm in Virginia and I eventually have to make the drive back to Texas in a few weeks...I can't say I'm looking forward to it, but it does give me plenty of time to think along the way. Virginia is nice...seems like home away from home. I've made a new friend...who has been a huge help over the past week with my newest life dilemma. I won't say much about it until a final decision is made, but in all of 2 days it seemed like my life went from perfectly planned out to living in a world of question marks. I pray that everything will all work out as God wants it...and other than that, there's not much more that I can do right now.

It seems like my emotions are all over the place lately, and I'm not really sure what to do or how to deal with it other than sit in silence most of the time. SIGH....I feel like I need a hug...

making a difference...

This past Monday we had our track team banquet/dinner (depends on how you want to look at it). This was kind of exciting because we never had anything like this while I was at Rice, and while we had the athletic banquet for the entire department, it was really nice to simply focus on our team. Dinner was great, everyone showed up, and the awards given out (with the stories behind them) were hilarious. The kids gave all the coaches cards and a single rose to show their appreciation for us and it definitely got a huge smile from each one of us...yep all 7 of us. Close to the end of the dinner I began reading my card since we had some down time and I could feel my eyes well up with tears. Before I tell you why, I must explain the story behind it.

There is this one particular athlete on the team who is by far at the bottom of the totem pole when it comes to talent. But she comes to practice everyday and she gives 150% effort despite what her times or distances may show. When she first came out, she had to practice early twice a week because she had a class scheduled during practice time. Shannon (my work wife) and I took turns coming out early to make sure she wouldn't feel left out and "unloved" by the coaches. The first few times I was out there with here, we focused solely on sprint drills because she was so highly uncoordinated. She would get discouraged from time to time but I told her my story about how I started off as a super struggling athlete and ended up blossoming into a competitive division I athlete. I told her that no matter how bad I performed or how much I hurt doing so, I refused to quit until the coaches told me to leave. And they never did and that's what shaped me into the athlete I became over 4 years.

So back to the card. This athlete wrote "You kept me going when I thought I couldn't." Those words were so powerful to me and it made me feel that this year I succeeded as a coach. One of the main reasons I do what I do is so that I can make a difference in some one's life. I have a passion in what I do, and I try to portray that to my athletes...and apparently this season I did. For the first time a few of my girls saw my sensitive side and boy where they shocked. But when something as powerful as that occurs, you can't help but let the soft side shine through.

coach's weekend

This weekend was by far the worst I've had as a coach this year. It didn't help that I carried some "unhappy with the team" baggage into the meet, but the girls definitely topped off my "shit" list (for a lack of better words) on Saturday. As Carla put it, some of the girls brought their "A" game, and the rest (i.e. the majority) brought NO game. She wasn't pleased and neither was I. I think for the first time I was truly visibly upset with them, and it was elevated because this is championship season and we really don't have time for an "off day" as far as performance. Needless to say, if they do not get their act together, their season will be cut short. I've fought for them all season to be able to run through the remainder of the season, but at some point they have to prove that they can back up what I'm saying.

On a lighter note, here are some pics from conference weekend and the athlete banquet...I feel like I'm starting to look and get respected as an actual coach.

priceless...

When I was in undergrad, I had the best relationships with my coaches. I absolutely adored them...each of them because of their own special characteristics. Jim always had every one's best interest at heart. I could go to him with pretty much anything and he had the ability to make me feel like it was the most important thing even if it was super small in nature. I had this relationship with Andy as if she was more than just my coach...but also my friend. She probably knew more about me then she cared to know, but she was also there to listen, something that a lot of coaches don't know how to do. Nance was always a stickler for the rules and super blunt by nature. But I appreciate that so much more now, because she made me aware of the dos and don'ts of how to run a program. The one thing that I loved about my coaches the most was that they saw something in me and believed in me when I had no clue that I could even be remotely competitive in division I. For that I will never be able to thank them enough.

Jim used to always tell stories...these stories would come at the most random of times...in the middle of team meetings, while trying to explain a jumping concept to me, or when we would go out for coffee before practice. I remember sitting and listening intently, even if I had heard a particular story 3 times before. He has this intimate relationship with all of his athletes and I always hoped that I would make the same type of impact on him that his former athletes had on him. I secretly wished that one day he would have a story about me. Well apparently he does now. I called him after my competition last weekend and he was thoroughly impressed that I had competed so well for so little training. At this week's Rice women's team meeting, he told them my story. I heard about it from my best friend who still runs and it made me smile so brightly both inside and out.

As a first year coach, I feel like I'm starting to develop relationships with my athletes similar to those that I had with my coaches. It's a little different being on the other side of the table. Sometimes they tell me too much information that frankly I just don't want to know. But other times I am extremely happy that they are comfortable enough to come to me with even the smallest of details of their lives. I want to get to know them not just on the track but off as well, because it is my job to help develop them as a person just as my coaches did with me. No matter how much money I will make in this profession, no monetary value can ever be placed on the relationships I have and will establish throughout my career. I was so upset with my girls today, but after hearing about what happened at Rice, I know that everyday is not going to be great, but it makes me remember that it's the little things that make all the difference.