It's official!!!!!

After 3 days of practice I can say that I am officially a COACH. For the past 6 weeks I have been doing miscellaneous coaching duties, but this past Monday was our first official day of practice. I think I was more excited than my kids were. I was also extremely nervous because the girls have had suggested workouts for the past 6 weeks of which I had no control over them actually doing them or not. My head coach basically made a statement that we would see just how effective my workouts had been for them...so I was praying to God that they would make me look good seeing as how my preseason workout was miles away from what previous years workouts had been. But they made me look good...and after 3 days of practice, I see so much potential in many of my girls. Because Division III does not have scholarship athletes, I have double duty in making them high quality athletes as well as keeping them interested in the sport enough to not quit. So needless to say I definitely have my work cut out for me.

3 days into my first season as a coach I have learned so much about myself already. I have a ton of things to work on as far as my 'teaching' skills. For me explanations are hard to convey to my athletes. I can demonstrate with the best of them, but when I'm 50 there is no way I'm still going to be able to get my lean-mean-granny-machine body over a hurdle. So one of my main goals is to be able to convey my thoughts without using physical motion to demonstrate. I'll definitely let you know how that works out.

Overall I love my girls...I have a host of personalities on the team (lots of positive energy, some humor, some go-gettas, and even a tad bit of attitude). But with all of their differences, they all stand out to me individually ALREADY. Each of them is special to me. 3 days into this coaching thing...I've left every practice with a smile...and honestly I couldn't have asked for anything more.

***I have my first official 'coaching' pic...well actually it's more along the lines of sitting bundled up after being at the track for 2 hours in 35 deg weather. I'll put it up soon.

stuck inside myself

When I was younger, and highly interested in psychology, I thought being either a clinical psychologist or a sports psychologist would be the most amazing-est of jobs. I feel like I am awesome in helping other people with their problems. I mean I love to give my point of view on things and try to rationalize why things are the way they are. And while I'm so wonderful at being a great 'friend' to others, I can't for the life of me express my own dang feelings. I tend to be better when I have to write things out (which is probably why I resorted to poetry when I was in high school), and even in text messages I can somewhat hold a semi-important conversation. But when it comes to verbal feedback...I'm the absolute worse. It's like my words get caught in space and never actually make it out of my mouth. I never really know what I'm going to say to begin with, and then I become a mute. I promise I don't mean to, but for the last 22+ years the way I've dealt with conflict is to avoid it, or to pretend it never happened in hopes that it would go away. But now I'm making a public vow to get my act together. This will definitely not be an overnight occurrence, but I want to get better. A few weeks ago we had a guest speaker in my Leadership class and we played a game that dealt with conflict/resolution. It was the first time I publicly acknowledged that I run from my problems/feelings but it wasn't until today that I realized how detrimental it can be not only in my profession, but in my personal life as well. I've been blessed with wonderful friends, family, and a significant other that surround me - and I want to make sure that they stay there. So I guess I'll take the advice of my bestest and 'woman-up' and face my fears/problems/emotions. I've got to learn to be a big girl and speak how I feel...but I'm not sure where to start when I've spent my entire life keeping everything bottled up inside...

just a thought

Today I had this wonderfully amazing day...well actually nothing special happened but I went to bed in a great mood and I woke up in an even better mood. School or work wasn't any different from usual, and I even got a really good work out in. BUT the entire day it felt like something was missing...like something just wasn't all the way right despite my wonderful mood. As the day waned on, I began to realize that it all revolved around the great weekend I had. I got to spend 4 days with one of my best friends...and for a split second I tricked myself into thinking that life for me had not changed since I moved here. In Houston, I was ALWAYS surrounded by my friends - whether it be class, practice, work, or just chillin' at the house. Now I'm ALWAYS super lonely. I mean I can call them pretty much whenever, and they along with my family and boyfriend are amazingly supportive...but that still doesn't change the fact that everyday I come home to an empty apartment. No one is waiting for me...but I guess that's a decision I made for myself. I could have easily stayed in Houston...but I wanted to branch out and make myself "grow up" a bit...and so I am. But even as I mature, that will never take away the notion that I miss them soooooo much. I can't wait for Christmas break...it's less than 2 months now :-)

Here are a few pics from my weekend with Britt:

What I Love/Hate about Massachusetts...so far anyway

It's been about 2 months since I moved to what I like to call the "frozen tundra," and I think many people are very surprised I haven't been complaining about how I'm ready to go home just yet. I must say I have had some bad days thus far...but I have also had some really great days so I guess they balance each other out. Since I've been here for a decent amount of time now, I think it's fair that I can make judgement on what I like/dislike about the area as a whole.

I absolutely LOVE:
-that gas is quite cheaper here than in Houston (the sign says 2.99 in case it's not super clear)...and I've seen cheaper

-the eclectic-ness of Northampton...basically anything goes...and when I say anything I really mean ANYTHING
-the essence of 4 seasons...I'm pretty sure when winter rolls around I'm going to hate it with a passion but right now fall foliage has a special place in my heart. It is absolutely stunning to say the least.
-that Massachusetts is a democratic state...Obama fa ya mama! I kinda feel like my vote will actually count this go round.
-my cozy apartment...and by cozy I mean it's a 2x2 box BUT it's mine...ALL MINE.
-that you can run red lights...and don't have to worry about the state of Massachusetts mailing you some 75 dollar ticket with a picture of your license plate.
-being a grad student (well this can go on the HATE list as well when it comes to some class days). I'm truly living the life because my day is over at 2pm EVERYDAY (well until practice starts in a few weeks)...and that's only because I chose to take a job so that I wouldn't have so much free time on my hands.
-being a coach...I'm still adjusting to this DIII thing...but I'm pretty sure coaching is what I want to spend the rest of my life doing.
-being able to drive for 20min and pass through about 5 towns...absolutely no joke. (i.e., on the way to school--Granby, South Hadley, Chicopee, Easthampton, Northampton)
-that I will actually be able to wear my uggs more than twice this year
-that I have so much 'ME' time...I guess I'll have my life figured out some time within the next 2 years



I HATE:
-that newscasters are soooo NOT cute. How in the heck are you supposed to be on TV everyday and your face is definitely one that should be on the radio.
-this eastern time zone crap...I look to begin watching my TV shows at 7pm...NOT 8pm. It's dang near midnight before I can tear myself away from couch for fear of missing one of my precious shows
-the lack of ethnic places to go (i.e. hair salons, restaurants, clubs/bars,...did I mention hair salons?)
-the lack of diversity period. The pioneer valley prides itself on its diversity...but to be honest, their idea of diversity is a good mix of homosexuals and heterosexuals...this is all cool and dandy with me, but no one understands how incredibly excited I get when I see another Black person)
-that you have exactly 100ft to merge on the highway and have to hope that the oncoming car has enough courtesy to actually switch lanes so that you can get on safely.
-that the speed limit is ACTUALLY enforced...the cops hide out everywhere just waiting to catch someone...learned my lesson quite quickly
-that it is 32 deg in the morning...but has the audacity to warm up to 75 in the day. This poses a huge inconvenience to a girl's wardrobe.
-that NOTHING stays open 24hrs...well maybe CVS but that's a ways from the house. Pretty much everything shuts down at 10pm PROMPTLY.
-that they don't play country music up here (yes, I know I'm black...but I'm from TX and I do have an affinity for country music from time to time)
-that the radio station here is NOT up to par...I mean all this east coast rap and pop music is killing me.
-that they only broadcast regional games...so I have missed all but 2 UT games this year that were on tv :-(. And I have only seen one LSU games. Saturday College football consists of dang Penn State (UGH!). Not to mention I have to go to a bar on Sundays just to see the Cowboys play because on regular cable they only show the Pats (who I actually liked before Tom Brady went down) and those dang NY Giants (another UGH!)

I'm pretty sure this list will grow...just thought I'd provide a little insight on how I've been feeling overall.

welcome black barbie...

In less than 2 days, I will once again get to sit in the company of one of my best friends. First off I'm sooooo incredibly excited to have a visitor, and second, for a cool 4 days I get to pretend like my life is back where it was 3 months ago. Our to-do list is definitely not the most exciting, but we get to be in each other's company and that in itself is enough for me. The one thing that I absolutely can't wait to do it watch Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill on Monday night with her. To many this may seem like the lamest of things, but to us this is what our lives revolve around. When I was back in Houston and had to work until midnight, Britt would stay up and wait until I got home just to sit and watch the shows AGAIN with me on tivo. Watching them here in Massachusetts is just not the same by myself, so for one day I get to pretend like things never changed. We will definitely shop and sight see a bit, since I'm still quite unfamiliar with the area...and we also plan to catch a Cirque de Soleil show in Beantown. I'm really hoping we can find a club to 'let loose' in for a night...would be great to shake what my mama gave me with one of my fav clubbers. With all that said...I wish she would just get here already so we can get the party started.

just some randomness

1. If you were God for a day, what would you do?

- Allow everyone to experience happiness. Some people are so consumed with everything else, they forget about their happiness. I believe once they get a taste of it, they may be able to take a deep look at their lives and figure out what should/should not be change in order to keep that feeling...and in my opinion we will all be better people because of it.

2. If you could be the parent of one famous person, who would you want it to be and why?

- hmmm parent...maybe Barack Obama's mom. how cool is it to know your kid might be the next president of America

3. What was the last thing you regret buying?

- I'm one of those people who believe if you have money you should spend it...so I like..scratch that...love all my purchases (little or small)...wish I would have bought some more Hershey almond bars at the grocery store tho lol

4. If you had a chance to bring one person back from the dead, who would it be and why?

- Twin (Jonathan Bailey)...never had anyone close to me die before and I took his death a whole lot harder than I thought I ever would. I still tear up just thinking about him. :-/

5. What three things you regret not learning to do?

- not being totally computer savvy
- let myself be loved and open with those closest to me
- learning to cook BEFORE I was responsible for making my own meals in college lol

6. If you had a crystal ball that could tell you the truth about any one thing you wished to know about yourself, life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?

- honestly I don't want to know anything about the future or my life...i just want to take everyday one stride at a time and enjoy the present. Knowing/thinking too much makes me forget the joys that I am experiencing at this present moment.

7. What's worse... having expectations that are too high, or having no expectations at all?

- too high...I hate disappointing people

8. How do you know when you're in love?

- when your face lights up in a smile unconsciously when you think of him
- when that 2-5% will never make you stray away or wish he was different in hopes of finding a 100% man
- I could go on and on and on

9. What is the most important invention or innovation that has happened during your life-time?

- Internet of course...it's like every one's bible nowadays...and not that that's a good thing

10. How would you spend your ideal day?

- surrounded by those nearest and dearest to me...in a warm climate...laughing and smiling

11. Name three things you wanted as a child but never got.

- a little sister (but someday soon i might inherit a step sis)
- long curly hair (still don't have that)
- I wasn't extremely materialistic as a child so anything I asked for I usually got. (OK call me spoiled if you like...I just consider me to be well taken care of)

12. What was the best year of your life?
- all of college...I experienced love, heartbreak, success and failure all in the time frame. I could have definitely done without the negatives...but they have made me a stronger person

13. Who would you choose to be shipwrecked on a desert island with?
- I could never choose just one person...and knowing me, I would have probably been on a ship with ALL my friends and bf so we'd be throwing a party on that island

14. What is the most valuable thing you own?
- I would say my car...but that is clearly in my daddy's name...sooooo i guess my lap top since its the first BIG purchase i made with MY OWN mula

15. If you were to be remembered for one thing, what would you like it to be?
- no matter how hard/easy/important/unimportant something was, I did it with all my heart...I've always been a firm believer that my heart is bigger than everyone else's'

16. The major newspaper headlines for tomorrow will be about you. What would you want them to say?
- idk...absolutely no clue

17. If you saw someone shoplifting, what would you do?
- none of my business...just don't walk out the store the same time I do, but because racial profiling would pick me as a black female to be the one actually stealing if the buzzard went off in the store

18. Is there anything you would willingly give your life for?
- any of my closest friends or family. (if you live to be 100, I want to live to be 100 minus one day so I never have to live a day without you- Winnie the pooh)

19. If you could re-live a day of your life again, which would it be and why?
- leave the past in the past...and just enjoy what you have in front of you.

20. If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do?
- hang out in an area somewhere predominated by men so that i can see how they really think