ummm...can someone please change the weather

I used to think I had this pact with God and the weather because the entire time I spent at Rice we rarely had rain days. It rains in Houston quite frequently, but Monday through Friday between the hours of 3 and 6pm it NEVER rained...and this made practices for a bunch of black girls who were worried about their hair quite manageable. I can count the number of track meets that I ran in the rain (or sprinkles) on one hand, so the biggest foe I ever had to deal with living in the south was the humidity. Even when I moved up north, I prayed that it wouldn't snow until I left for Christmas break. I left December 12, and the first 12inch snow storm came December 13...now if that ain't the work of God I don't know what is. So needless to say I thought that me and God had this weather thing all figured out...

That is until I got to Nacogdoches. Since I've been here we've had weeks of rain in a row. I will always be dry (hence the rain boots, umbrella, rain pants, rain coat, and extra pair of socks in my office) but I often feel for my athletes because they are always drenched after practice. We finally got some nice weather days...and I'm talking 75 degrees and bright and sunny and practice was AWESOME. Then I wake up this morning and it is freaking 35 degrees outside...now I hate the rain, but when it's 70 and raining I can deal. 35...uh uh! I swear I often wonder how I made through the harsh winter.

So I've been doing some thinking today. I am now putting out a public service announcement to God to lets get back on the same page and get the weather back in order. I live in the south for goodness sake...we really should never get below the 50 degree barrier.

Defining moments...

So today in church we entered the 2nd part of a series entitled defining moments. I thought this would be a perfect topic to blog about so I figured I'd share some "defining moments" in my life.

**the moment I knew I wanted to coach
- All my life I wanted to be a doctor (and maybe someday I still will fulfill that dream lol), but once I got through my first year of college I started questioning if that was something I really wanted to do. I love helping people but being a doctor lacks the social interaction that I so highly crave and being a nurse just doesn't cut it, because I just want to be my own boss. So anyhow, I spent a year not knowing exactly how I would spend the rest of my life. The summer after my sophomore year a friend of mine asked me if I would help her coach a summer AAU basketball team back home. I said yes although I had a full time job in Houston and this would mean commuting once or twice a week back home (3hrs round trip) AND giving up my weekends, but my dad was having some medical complications so this was a good reason to visit more that normally. Well little did I know, I would fall in love with this "summer volunteer job." After our first tournament, I just knew that this is what I wanted to do full time. I felt so fulfilled that I could share my passion with others and see them succeed all at the same time. I started coaching basketball, but I have this long standing love affair with track. While basketball has my heart, track is something that I've done since I was 6 and was the one thing that gave me a chance at college athletics and brought many life lessons and successes along the way. So in a way I still get to help people (just not how I always dreamed in a medical setting), and although the paycheck is not even close to the same, the joy is more that I could have ever imagined.

**the moment I turned to my faith for true guidance
- I guess this could also be stated in me turning my life over to God, but I've been a Christian my whole life so I guess saying re-committed my life to Christ may be the correct statement. Last year was by far one of the hardest in my life. I have always had a super supportive family and friends that would kill for me, but somehow I still manage to feel alone from time to time. Well last year I hit an all time low. Some may say that I was just homesick, but I feel as though I am a strong individual and can stand on my own two feet most always. For the longest I just felt extremely depressed and it had a horrible effect on my relationship and my school work, and it seemed the only think that kept me going was coaching (which was only 2-3hrs out of my day). After a conversation with my mom, a light came on that I would not be able to make it through the hard times by myself. I turned to God, and began going back to church and praying more than ever. This summer he put an opportunity in front of me that has since changed my life dramatically. In doing so, while I am much happier, I also am faced with a bigger dilemma in my relationship. However, I am stronger in my faith than I have ever been so I know that he will make a way. I know that it may not be ideal or may not come exactly when I want it to, but his plan for my life is great, and that is something that I will never doubt. I grew up hearing to train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. 23 years later I am living proof.

**the moment I knew he was my forever
- I cannot pin point the day. I fell in love early in the relationship but even then, I think I still did not know that he was THE one. Now 1 year, 8 months, and 15 days since we first met I am without a shadow of a doubt, absolutely 100% positive, that HE IS THE ONE. With him I have this constant feeling of amazing-ness...this overwhelming joy...this love that I cannot explain. I smile just thinking about it...and my heart smiles even brighter!

There are many moments that standout in my life, but those are a few that truly define who I am. These are moments that will live forever in my heart.

recruiting weekend!

So I am once again experiencing a first, although this is my SECOND year of coaching. I had my first official visit for an athlete I am personally recruiting come to town this weekend. Having just come off the flu, it was a bit more taxing and tiresome that I could have even imagined. I feel as though I will be recovering for at least a week. In 48hours, I walked, talked, and hopefully schmoozed my way to a possible signee in the near future. She was far more pleasant in person that she comes off on the phone and her parents were definitely ones that I would want to become a part of our program. They are supportive and are true track fans! In addition to her, I had an unofficial recruit come in who was a male athlete and I'm not sure if he spoke 20 words while he was here. I'm not quite sure how to take that, but his dad swears up and down that he really does like me, so I guess I'll just roll with that answer for now.

My most favorite part of the weekend was the food. If one this is true around here, it is we eat plenty...and we eat well. I'm pretty sure I put on a cool 2-3lbs, so I guess I need to get back to business in the workout department. My hiatus from physical activity because of the flu is officially over, so I need to get the breathing back in order and the legs to burning. I just refuse to not be able to do what I put my athletes through everyday...Can't let them have that one up on me just yet.

All in all it was a great weekend. I know this is the first of many, and the beginning of much success in the recruiting area of my career!

boy i swear...

I am really getting bad at keeping up with this blog business...but one of my classmates mentioned this evening that she liked the things I had written thus far so I felt slightly inspired to make a post tonight. It's kind of nice to know that some people actually care what goes on in my life or my little ole' head.

Anywho...today was definitely an interesting day in practice. I had a free flow of words (and not so nice words I might add) on a couple of my guy athletes today. We've had some pretty good practices these past few weeks. One guy I'm pretty much developing from scratch and the other is a walk-on who I've come to love since he joined the team. To say that today they weren't "on" would be the understatement of the year. It was as if everything we've learned in the past 3 weeks just went out the window. I tried to hold my tongue, but my patience grew thin and out came not-so-nice-Coach Lacee'. I promise it was almost an instant change that they remembered all that we had worked on. I felt a bit out of character, because I refuse to believe my athletes are those headache kids who need to be cursed out on a daily basis. My athletes come with attitude don't get me wrong, but they do what I ask them to do and give 150% along the way. They want to succeed just as much as I want them to, and it makes practices so exciting. To see them accomplish something they spent all last season battling, or seeing that light bulb come on when the figure something out is what makes practices worthwhile. Today's afternoon session made up for my disappointing morning session 10-fold. And tomorrow I have my first official visit for a recruit. This should be an interesting weekend to say the least, but exciting for the most part. Being a coach...what can I say...I love it!

long time coming...

I'm finally settled in an absolutely loving my new environment. Who would have ever thought that I'd find the [almost] perfect job for myself an entire year earlier than expected. The summer was filled with a lot of question marks. Just when I thought my life was going smoothly , everything changed in an instant. I was presented with a job offer that in my eyes was ideal for exactly what I wanted in a first job...and after much deliberation, I finally decided that it was right for me...even if it wasn't at the most ideal time. In a perfect world, I would have finished my degree where I was in MA, and found my first job somewhere close to my future hubby. But my world is not perfect...far from it...and it never ceases to amaze me. So here I am...in good ole' Nacogdoches, Texas starting this chapter as the 'Jacks newest assistant coach. In just two months here I have absolutely fallen in love. The staff is great...the kids are a pleasure even in all of their special-ness...and I'm never felt more at home to not be quite at home per say. I'm embracing my new east Texas accent and indulging in having sweet tea with almost every meal. But with all my happiness, it takes everything out of me not to focus all my attention on missing my boyfriend. There are only so many distractions in a day, but day by day we are maintaining. God has a special plan for us, and sometimes I wish it would just be evident to me like ummm...yesterday. But it's not. So I manage. We manage. And one day I know things will be perfect just like I imagined. So until then I'll keep living my dream...being an inspiration and providing hope...one athlete at a time.

welcome to the motherland...

So currently as I type I am in the Cape Town International Airport. We have about 5 more hours before we head back to the states and I have to say that I have mixed feelings about leaving. I love being an American, and this trip has taught me a bit about valuing the little things around me, but at the same time this is the most beautiful place I've ever visited and I am a huge sucker for gorgeous scenery. I'll put up pics of my entire summer vacation (down the eastern seaboard, across the gulf coast and over the big pond) when I get some time and get settled. It's been a summer of mixed emotions...but I survived. And now I have a whole new chapter in my life to look forward to AFTER I move my life back from Massachusetts.

But for now I'm off to check in for my flight across the big pond...

new addition...

It's official...I'm the newest member of the Stephen F. Austin State University Track and Field Staff!!!!!!

Starting September 1, I will begin my first season as an Assistant Coach at SFA, coaching horizontal jumps and assisting in hurdles and relays. I'm super excited with this new position and I pray that God will guide me in the right direction as I make this next step in my life.

While I can't say I will miss Massachusetts or the snow, I will miss the team that I am leaving, because they are the ones that kept me going through the hard times. What sucks even more is that I wont be able to give a proper good bye due to the summer time decision.

However, I am ready and eager to start my new life, and I ask for support and prayers along the way. This seems to be a promising opportunity for me, and I look to learn, grow, and excel to the best of my ability.

sigh...

Seems like it's been forever and a day...and I guess in a sense it really has.

Some days it seems like so much has happened since my last post...and then other days it seems like I'm stuck in time.

The season ended well...another personal best for the relay. I had to cut my time in Mass short by a few days due to an unexpected family death, but it was extremely nice to go home and spend quality time with family and friends. The highlight of my time home was being with my brothers. Sometimes I forget how over the years they have truly stole my heart and being with both of them (even doing the most random things) makes me melt all over again. This was the first time (in a LONG time) that the baby (who's not so much a baby anymore) has actually wanted to hang with me. It was awesome. He rode with me everywhere...spent countless hours watching tv...and slept with me every night I was with him. Just thinking about it make me smile.

On another note...I am the newest certified truck driver lol. Ok so not really, but I did make a 10.5 hour drive after just getting off a 4 hour plane ride back from Texas. Currently I'm in Virginia and I eventually have to make the drive back to Texas in a few weeks...I can't say I'm looking forward to it, but it does give me plenty of time to think along the way. Virginia is nice...seems like home away from home. I've made a new friend...who has been a huge help over the past week with my newest life dilemma. I won't say much about it until a final decision is made, but in all of 2 days it seemed like my life went from perfectly planned out to living in a world of question marks. I pray that everything will all work out as God wants it...and other than that, there's not much more that I can do right now.

It seems like my emotions are all over the place lately, and I'm not really sure what to do or how to deal with it other than sit in silence most of the time. SIGH....I feel like I need a hug...

making a difference...

This past Monday we had our track team banquet/dinner (depends on how you want to look at it). This was kind of exciting because we never had anything like this while I was at Rice, and while we had the athletic banquet for the entire department, it was really nice to simply focus on our team. Dinner was great, everyone showed up, and the awards given out (with the stories behind them) were hilarious. The kids gave all the coaches cards and a single rose to show their appreciation for us and it definitely got a huge smile from each one of us...yep all 7 of us. Close to the end of the dinner I began reading my card since we had some down time and I could feel my eyes well up with tears. Before I tell you why, I must explain the story behind it.

There is this one particular athlete on the team who is by far at the bottom of the totem pole when it comes to talent. But she comes to practice everyday and she gives 150% effort despite what her times or distances may show. When she first came out, she had to practice early twice a week because she had a class scheduled during practice time. Shannon (my work wife) and I took turns coming out early to make sure she wouldn't feel left out and "unloved" by the coaches. The first few times I was out there with here, we focused solely on sprint drills because she was so highly uncoordinated. She would get discouraged from time to time but I told her my story about how I started off as a super struggling athlete and ended up blossoming into a competitive division I athlete. I told her that no matter how bad I performed or how much I hurt doing so, I refused to quit until the coaches told me to leave. And they never did and that's what shaped me into the athlete I became over 4 years.

So back to the card. This athlete wrote "You kept me going when I thought I couldn't." Those words were so powerful to me and it made me feel that this year I succeeded as a coach. One of the main reasons I do what I do is so that I can make a difference in some one's life. I have a passion in what I do, and I try to portray that to my athletes...and apparently this season I did. For the first time a few of my girls saw my sensitive side and boy where they shocked. But when something as powerful as that occurs, you can't help but let the soft side shine through.

coach's weekend

This weekend was by far the worst I've had as a coach this year. It didn't help that I carried some "unhappy with the team" baggage into the meet, but the girls definitely topped off my "shit" list (for a lack of better words) on Saturday. As Carla put it, some of the girls brought their "A" game, and the rest (i.e. the majority) brought NO game. She wasn't pleased and neither was I. I think for the first time I was truly visibly upset with them, and it was elevated because this is championship season and we really don't have time for an "off day" as far as performance. Needless to say, if they do not get their act together, their season will be cut short. I've fought for them all season to be able to run through the remainder of the season, but at some point they have to prove that they can back up what I'm saying.

On a lighter note, here are some pics from conference weekend and the athlete banquet...I feel like I'm starting to look and get respected as an actual coach.

priceless...

When I was in undergrad, I had the best relationships with my coaches. I absolutely adored them...each of them because of their own special characteristics. Jim always had every one's best interest at heart. I could go to him with pretty much anything and he had the ability to make me feel like it was the most important thing even if it was super small in nature. I had this relationship with Andy as if she was more than just my coach...but also my friend. She probably knew more about me then she cared to know, but she was also there to listen, something that a lot of coaches don't know how to do. Nance was always a stickler for the rules and super blunt by nature. But I appreciate that so much more now, because she made me aware of the dos and don'ts of how to run a program. The one thing that I loved about my coaches the most was that they saw something in me and believed in me when I had no clue that I could even be remotely competitive in division I. For that I will never be able to thank them enough.

Jim used to always tell stories...these stories would come at the most random of times...in the middle of team meetings, while trying to explain a jumping concept to me, or when we would go out for coffee before practice. I remember sitting and listening intently, even if I had heard a particular story 3 times before. He has this intimate relationship with all of his athletes and I always hoped that I would make the same type of impact on him that his former athletes had on him. I secretly wished that one day he would have a story about me. Well apparently he does now. I called him after my competition last weekend and he was thoroughly impressed that I had competed so well for so little training. At this week's Rice women's team meeting, he told them my story. I heard about it from my best friend who still runs and it made me smile so brightly both inside and out.

As a first year coach, I feel like I'm starting to develop relationships with my athletes similar to those that I had with my coaches. It's a little different being on the other side of the table. Sometimes they tell me too much information that frankly I just don't want to know. But other times I am extremely happy that they are comfortable enough to come to me with even the smallest of details of their lives. I want to get to know them not just on the track but off as well, because it is my job to help develop them as a person just as my coaches did with me. No matter how much money I will make in this profession, no monetary value can ever be placed on the relationships I have and will establish throughout my career. I was so upset with my girls today, but after hearing about what happened at Rice, I know that everyday is not going to be great, but it makes me remember that it's the little things that make all the difference.

so close...

2 competitions in one month...and this is one that I'm actually semi-proud of. Despite the fact that the jumps all looked like total crap, the distance made me feel like I actually might have something in my tank if I took the time to practice. But this year is all about fun so I'm on the "rest is best policy".


***This is what 5.98m (19'8") with an off run, no penultimate, and absolutely NO air looks like.


On a lighter note...our team finished 4th in conference (NEWMAC). We achieved out goal on the season of making it back to the top half of the conference. It was an up and down meet, but the 4x4 ran a 10s PR so it was a great way to end the meet. It was also 85 degrees and for the first time all season I got to wear shorts. I love how people in New England think 85 degrees = summer time. Ummm NO! But I finally got to get my tan game on!


***me and the asst coaching crew. Notice Shan and I have the same outfit on. This is like the 3rd or 4th time that has happened this season. She truly is my "work wife."






***Mini C (me) and Carla (the head coach). Mini C is what the girls have christened me as because I'm like Carla's little protege.


The school year is coming to a close. 4 days of class left and 3 more track meets (providing that no one miraculously qualifies for nationals...not that that would be a bad thing). I'm working on another movie project (that makes 3 since I've been here at Smith)...not too shabby for someone who considers herself to be technology illiterate...and I have a 12 week conditioning plan to write up for my Sport Med class. This is like the easiest last week of classes ever...but the downside is that for the first time in 3 years, I have a freakin' FINAL!!!!! That's not a good look for me...

I'm really just ready to pack my bags, hit the road, and go play wifey for a while. I have a little less than a month, so I guess the it's safe to begin my countdown...

200H world record holder...

Ok so know I actually am not the WORLD record holder...but since the race is no longer in existence, I'm just gonna stick with the idea that I'm the 2009 SEASON leader (lol). My coach had an honorary race at a meet we competed in a couple weeks ago, and she insisted I run since she did not know how many people would compete in it. Since I finished my outdoor season last year, I said I would NEVER run competitively again...Jump, yes...but run, [hell] NO! However, I conceded, but my compromise was that I could long jump as well. It all sounded like a good idea at the time...and then we get to the meet and it's 40 degrees (but feels like 35) and rainy...just awesome I tell you. I jumped decent providing the conditions...and I pretty much jogged the race because I have the phobia of running in the rain since I fell on my head in college. I won both events (and hold facility and meet records in both events...lmao), but I'll never be satisfied with my jumping until I see 20 feet (legally) or 6.09m. No fun pictures accompany this post because everything was sloppy wet and I was NOT about to mess up my brand new camera...so sorry! But you can be happy that you know the world leader in the 200 meter hurdles lol.

23 life lessons...in honor of my birthday

Yes! The celebration of my birthday gives me a reason to make not one but TWO posts! So here are 23 life lessons that I have come by in my wonderful 23 years of life.

1. Communication is the key to life...AND the key to love. I'm working to hone my skills, but for those that know me, know that I've come a long way since I was the 12 year old mouse kid who walked around with a huge smile as if life was made of sunshine and peaches when in all actuality it is not.

2. Learn to love to read! I had to learn the hard way because I was punished for 3 months in high school and that was pretty much the only thing I could do...but since then I have no problem indulging myself in a book. I like to think it has helped enhance my vocabulary.

3. Believe in yourself. If you don't, how can you expect anyone else to?

4. In order to have good friends, you must be a GREAT friend.

5. Never turn your back on your parents. As much as my mom and I don't get along, she was the one person who moved me into college my freshman year, and drove 29hrs to move me in to my apartment for grad school. If that ain't love I don't know what it is.

6. If you want to live your life free from addiction, DO NOT GET A BLACKBERRY.

7. On the technology note...Mac books are the best. Once you go Mac, you never go back.

8. There is no such thing as a 100% man/woman...if you can get 85 or better, baby you are doing great!

9. Don't be afraid to put it in the wind...sometimes you just have to get up and go and leave all your worries behind.

10. If you are going to come in after curfew, you might as well do it big. 2 minutes or 2 hours honestly doesn't matter. You will still be grounded til the day you graduate.

11. Hurricanes can change you life in an instant. When the weather man says go...it might be wise to listen. I'd rather it be my house than my life.

12. If the princess ain't happy, ain't nobody happy (on the mug that I received for my birthday). If that doesn't speak volumes about me I don't know what does. I really have a way of my making everyone else's life miserable if mine is not going perfectly.

13. Blond hair dye is not whats up if you are a black girl (even if you are bright). It may seem awesome and "different" at the time, but when you look at pictures of yourself years later, the first thing that will come to mind is "wtf?"

14. If you go to the club and the bouncer knows your name...that is not a good look for you. That means you need to slow your roll, because obviously you are doing too much with your life.

15. If you have roommates for 3 consecutive years...stay with them. Moving in with someone you barely know is not whats up.

16. Better yet, just live alone...that way everyone is happy.

17. Don't follow your dreams...Chase them!

18. It's ok to try everything at least once...never think of things as regrets...see them as "learning" experiences.

19. Never judge a book by its cover. There is so much more to people than what meets the eye.

20. Facebook ruins lives and relationships...still hasn't stopped my addiction to it though.

21. Play the hand that you are given. Nothing is ever going to be perfect, but it you put your all into what you have, something perfect will always result.

22. Time heals all wounds...but it takes just that...TIME

23. True love is definitely worth the risk. Always follow your heart. I tend to run a lot, and for whatever reason I stopped this time...I've never been more happy that I did so.

Happy 23rd to ME!

Being a track coach, I'm never going to avoid celebrating my birthday during the season. For the past few years, it has fallen on a practice day, but NEVER on a meet day. This year proved no different however, it was spent on a 4 hour bus ride to Maine. Woohoo!!!! Can't get anymore exciting than traveling to Maine, right? Well actually, this was probably the most simple birthday ever (seeing as how I had HUGE parties all through college), but I enjoyed EVERY single minute of it. I feel like it goes with my age...cool, calm and collected. I had dinner and drinks with a select few the night before. 2 of the closest people to me in MA bought me a cake and balloon (of which I shared...which if you don't know me, that is huge because I don't like to share food...especially sweets). The girls chose decent movies on the bus ride (which made it that much more tolerable). They sang Happy Birthday (actually so did my aunt, cousin, and best friend on my voicemail as well lol). And I received so many thoughtful cards that I swear I cried on most of them. For the first time this semester I was truly happy for an entire day...and gosh did it feel good!


Felicia, me, and Shan (<3 these girls)

just a sprinkle of racism...

Today in my Women in Sport class, we had two guest speakers Carla Coffey (the head track coach here at Smith) and Billy McBride (the assistant athletic director at Amherst College in Amherst, MA). Both a people of a color, and our topic was on racism and sexism in sport. Recently I have been talking a lot with Carla about issues of racism and sexism due to the problem I encountered at the beginning of this semester, so for the most part I know her views, and we both experience an unbiased type of racism everyday just by being a part of the Smith community.

However this post is not about them. If you want to chat more about it, feel free to contact me. In the middle of our panel, our professor told us a story that the Dean of Graduate Students (Danielle Ramduth), also a woman of color, relayed to her a few days ago. Danielle's 7 year old daughter attends the Smith Campus School, and recently came home crying because the kids wouldn't pick her for different activities to be on their "team." They told her if she could make her skin a little more "white" then they would consider choosing her next time. This story instantly fueled a sense of anger in me because as many times as we'd like to think that racism no longer exist in the world, obviously it still does. These kids are only 7 years old, and this is the environment that they are being brought up in. As a future parent, I had tears in my eyes thinking about how I would react in the situation and what my response to my child would be. I know what it's like to be the only black person in a situation...it's pretty much what I face everyday. But to know that my child is being discriminated against because of the color of their skin is just horrifying. I am grown so in a sense I know how to deal with such issues...but a child? It's extremely disheartening to know that this type of actions still exist, and that not much has truly changed in the last half century. So as parents...what do we do? How do we handle such a situation?

WORST.DAY.EVER.

Just when I thought things could get no worse yesterday...they did! And 10 times over at that...

After work I decided to "re-start" my day...an in that I mean, I went to Felicia's apartment to take a nap. I always feel better when I can sleep away my negativity and I feel refreshed when I wake up...well most of the time that is.

I woke up pretty indifferent toward everything, but practice usually cheers me up so I felt like things would end on a positive note. Well everything was going according to plan. The weather was pleasant (about 58 and sunny). Everyone showed up to practice (yes it is totally allowed to just come and go as you please...hey that's not my rule so I can't say much about it). Relay exchanges were surprisingly on point...because this weekend was more closer to hectic than anything else. Hurdle drills and plyos were better than usual. Then it was time for starts...and thus the problems begin.

My 400 hurdler that I gloated about in the previous blog, comes barrelling through the first hurdle, clips it with her lead leg, proceeds to do a somersault in the air, and lands on the left side of her head. My first reaction was "OH SHIT!" I ran over to her along with Carla (the head coach) and Valerie (the distance coach), and she is laid out on the track. Now this is where the story gets interesting. I run down to the lacrosse field to get a trainer (because all of them were strategically situated around the lacrosse game...i.e., watching and not paying attention to the 3 other sports who were practicing at the same time). Once I get there (after having sprinted over), I say we need a trainer atop the hill on the track. The response I got was "FOR WHAT?" In my head I wanted to say, "look I didn't run down here to get a m/f'in bandaid", but I kept my cool and explained the situation. Of course they send the GA, who semi sprints back with me, and after examining her, she decides she wants to sit her up. I'm like are you freaking kidding. Now I know I'm not a licensed anything, but in CPR/first aid we learn to NEVER move someone who might have a possible neck injury. Any who...we decide to call public safety, who zooms over...to the wrong side of the track...and then calmly WALKS over like the situation is NOT an urgent emergency. The ambulance is called and they come load her on the stretcher, all wrapped up in the head/neck brace and spine board. THEN... the ambulance gets stuck in the mud so they have to call the fire truck to come get them out, and another ambulance to come transport our injured athlete. By the time they made it to the hospital to meet me (who had been there for about 30min with the insurance info), it had been a whopping 1HOUR since the incident occurred. Now mind you the hospital is 3 min from school. Thank God this was not a life threatening emergency b/c she would have been dead.

The hospital people were total butts like always...no sense of urgency at all...I'm still trying to figure out why it's call an EMERGENCY room if no one gives a flying flip and clearly work on their own time. 4 hours, 2 CAT scans, and 1 xray later, they let us leave but not before telling us that our budding star has 2 weeks (at least) of NO physical activity. I swear my heart broke instantly. It was almost as bad as finding out you've been cheated on by the love of you life.

We then decide to treat ourselves to dinner on Mother Smith because it is after 10pm by this time.

But wait there's more...

After dropping everyone off...I'm on my way home...and my car runs out of gas...on the freeway...with no lights...in the middle of freakin nowhere! Yes I know it's all my fault, but really???? My day went from a 1 on the shit scale to a cool -15. But by this point I could really care less. Normally I'd get super frantic about a situation like this, but honestly all I could do was laugh it off and wait for Carla to bring me a gas can. This gas can she brought had like an inkling of gas in it...I was like oh Lord this is about to be rough trying to make it home. But I did, and I found out that unlike in Texas, once a gas station closes here...there is no such thing of pumping and just charging it to your credit card. Oh well...

I finally made it to my bed at around 12:30am...it was a day of hell nonetheless...but for once I wasn't mad...just happy that I could finally close my eye lids and dream of starting my day off right today.

So for today, I've got the update on my hurdler (she has some war wounds and is incredibly sore...plus she still doesn't remember what happened), I found out I get to make a cool video project, AND I made a difference in the life of a few of my students in my physical conditioning classes just by playing KICKBALL.

Maybe yesterday was just God's way of telling me to step back and be grateful for all that I have, because in an instance it can all be taken away...It sucks be so hard headed all the time...

outdoor has begun!

This is ME...at our first outdoor meet at Trinity University in the hood of Hartford, CT. When we got there (when this pic was taken) it was about 40ish degrees outside. By the middle of the meet it was a blazing 63 degrees...can you say I was ready to sunbathe!!!!! Never in a gazillion years would I have ever thought that I'd be excited to have a meet that was 63 degrees. I only got a little sunburned in the face (yes you can burn in 60 degree temperatures because the sun waves are the same as when it's 90), but thank God it didn't peel like last week :-).

So about the meet...well honestly it didn't really matter to me if they ran well or not because (1) it was the first meet of the season and (2) it was absolutely beautiful so in my eyes, my girls could do no wrong. In hindsight, because our outdoor season is so short, we have to make the best out of every meet in hopes of qualifying for post season championship meets. My quarter milers really stepped it up this weekend. Our 400 hurdler is showing GREAT potential for the rest of the season. Not that I want to jinx myself, but if ever we thought we'd get a national qualifier (other than our fabulous pole vaulter), the 4 Hurdler has the brightest future. She ran a career PR in the first outdoor meet and that just made me so proud as a coach. We are working together to figure out what works specifically for her, and because she is the only intermediate hurdler, it makes it so much easier to individualize her workouts. The sprint relay...well...when we get the hand-offs down pack we should be good. Judging by the confidence in the team, this should be a good year for the relays.

Outside of track...I really think I have simply checked out of school. The only problem with this is that I still have a month left until the last day of classes AND an entire year left in my program. I usually like for time to slow down so that I can enjoy what life has to offer, but it this case I just want out...NOW! I'm so ready to just be done and work full time. I'm tired of school. I'm tired of classes in which I don't feel like I'm learning much of anything because I'm always so zoned out. I'm tired of my lack of social life. I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired! Ok I'm done ranting...

SIGH...

So ummm...March Madness!!!! My team totally got knocked out on a last second play so I guess I'll just watch the final game so that I can fulfill my assignment for one of my classes and overly analyze the game instead of just being able to enjoy it...bummer!

The one positive thing about this month...MY (and lil brother's) BIRTHDAY !!!!! Yay for getting old...NOT! And for once it won't even matter because no one here knows (other than Felicia), and I don't have any friends, family or significant other to so much as go out to eat with because we'll be in the great state of Maine. Thank God it's only 23, because if it was something of significance I'd be highly upset.

Ok I'm tired of being negative...back to your regular scheduled program...

absence makes the heart grow fonder...

So first off I'll apologize for my absence. It seems like it's been FOREVER since I've blogged...and judging by the date of the last post...it truly has been a while. I've had the best intentions of writing something, and then when I have time, I'm usually tired and would much rather just bum around the house.

But anyway...here I am NOW!

Indoor is over (thank God!). It seems like it took forever and a day, and it drain every ounce of sanity out of me along the way. My girls did progressively better as the season went on and I feel like we ended on a positive note going into outdoor this weekend.

School is still the same...I'm simply trying to make it through the next year and two months. I do just enough to get by, and that is absolutely fine with me.

Spring break was awesome. I got to spend it with the boo and it was nice to play wifey for a week. Being around his team, makes me appreciate the girls I have as athletes but at the same time a little jealous of the ones he has. I guess each group will always have different qualities and blend together differently. His group seems like a family. My group listens diligently to my every word and does their best to take heed to my instructions. His group laughs and jokes around plus have more talent. My group is a little uptight at times...but we're working on it and after spending some quality time with a few of them, I've learned so much about their worlds and how much it differs from mine and where I came from. I know that every time I leave him, it gets a little harder, but I was dreading leaving before it was even time for me to board the plane. Geesh I wish the time would pass already so we can be FOREVER...

But speaking of planes...Philadelphia is the worst place in America to fly to/from. There will ALWAYS be a delay regardless if the weather is 75 and sunny outside. The bathrooms are disgusting, and the people who work there need a serious attitude adjustment.

Let's see what else has happened...

My bags were left in Philadelphia on the way back from VA...so not what's up. This have never happened to me before and when they decided to bring them back to me, it was 1am in the morning. Now who in the hell bangs on a person's door at 1am like the damn police just to deliver some damn luggage. Due to the foul language in the last sentence, I'm pretty sure you can tell how I feel about the situation.

On a positive note, the Rice women won yet ANOTHER indoor title...HOOT HOOT to the ladies in blue! Rice wtf all the way!

My future in laws referred to me as their "daughter." I've never felt so special off the most random comment. Maybe it's just the way southern people are because they take in their children's friends or significant others as their own...but that really meant the world to me even if it wasn't intended in such a manner.

I competed again over spring break...nothing impressive but I won nonetheless so I guess that makes it okay. I'm 3-0 on the season!

Speaking of wins/losses...WOOHOO for march madness. This is most definitely my most favorite time of year (that doesn't include gifts b/c Christmas and Birthdays trump basketball on any day!). Right now I'm loving Syracuse...that 6OT game had me up all night...and I've been rocking with them ever since. I have Pittsburgh winning it all (over Memphis), but they've been on the struggle so I don't know about that one right now.

That's about all that has happened in my life as of now...

I'm trying to take everything in stride and keep it moving day by day with a smile on my face. But the summer can't come fast enough! In the mean time...I'm hoping for a national qualifier by the end of the season (hey...a girl can dream!).

Valentine's Day and then some...

THIS (plus some candy...that I have already consumed) is what came to school for me on Valentine's day. I can't begin to tell you how excited I was. Of course no one got to see them because it was toward the end of the day...but that's ok...because I told EVERYONE who would listen (lol).

Ok, enough of the mushy stuff...

The indoor season is finally coming to a close...I swear it feels like my girls have been running for FOREVER! We're on meet number 7 I believe and it's starting to show in their running. Hell I'm even tired because I'm used to a 4 meet indoor season. I hear that indoor is longer here because of the weather for outdoor is usually pretty sucky so the outdoor season is considerably shorter.

Once again I've become a grade A procrastinator. Today we had another random holiday and of course I did nothing productive in the school area. Instead I slept...and played the domestic role for the afternoon (cooked, cleaned, did laundry, etc). Sigh...yeah I'll pay for it next week when my two papers are due and I'm still trying to catch up on my sleep from our trip to Maine this weekend...oh well.

For about 4 days we had a glimpse of warm (50 degrees...New England warm) weather and I was ecstatic. And then today about lunch time it starts to snow again. I'm like are you freakin' kidding...this is so not ok. All I want to do is go for a jog in a sports bra and tights...That way I can get some sun and exercise all at the same time.

I think I'm coming out of my mini-depression. I still get a little snappy with people from time to time but I learning how to make that go away. I've met some very interesting and distinguished students and faculty of color over the past week. I'm always so caged up in the gym that I never even realized that there is world on the other side of campus. It's been nice to just get away. I still feel like I have a lot going on right now...but I'm managing...just ready for Spring Break now!

***This week I'm grateful for:
-my sis Mem
-Felicia's apartment (and Felicia as well)
-Val's post card
-being one of Toy's angels :-)
-my fam (I got like 8 phone calls in one week)
-HIM (for making this the BEST valentine's day WEEK ever)

Wow...what a week!

Conversation between my advisor and myself:

Jane: Have you been eating?
Me: yeah of course.
Jane: you look like you are disappearing right in front of me. you need to make sure you get something to eat.
Me: Jane. no, I have been eating. It's actually rare that I miss meals, even if I am feeling bad.
Jane: Yeah...you need to eat. You just look bad.

WOW! So if I was gutsy enough to put up a picture of how I look right now, you would see what she means. I look like an evaporated ghost (if that even exists). I'm just so tired, so emotionally drained...and I think I've experience the worst 2 weeks since I moved to MA. Good thing is...I actually got the main problem resolved...but even in its resolution I still am somewhat unhappy because I should not have had to go through such a dramatic process. I'm not going to take the discrimination route although everyone in my program sees in that way. Honestly I know I'm black. I know I'm the only person in my program who's black. The only black assistant coach...and one of 3 blacks in the entire ESS and athletic department staff. The color of my skin is evident to me and has been since the day I walked into Smith College. Every time we have race related conversation in class, everyone looks to me to get the 'ok' in order to touch on the subject. Massachusetts is considerably more liberal than Texas, and it makes me so sad that racism and sexism still exist in today's society. But with all that said...I'm going to look at the situation that I experienced the last two weeks as me just getting "picked on." Not because of the color of my skin...or my gender...but because I was the most ready and available target. When I chose to move here, I made my move on nothing more than a leap of faith. I knew what I was getting myself into...and I chose to stay. Some days have been better than others and while the last week has me looking like a pale skeleton, I'm just going to take it as a lesson learned and nothing more. I often feel like I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders, and my little arms are far from fit enough to do such a thing. So to hell with the little stuff...I have the future to look forward to...

This week I'm grateful for:
-Jane and Chris (They totally went to bat for me...can't say enough about it)
-Felicia (it's nice to have someone to rant to from time to time)
-Carla (she's been on my side since day 1)
-HIM (words can't express...)
-Fums (still inspiring me like no other)
-Val (those random msgs make my day)
-Facebook (lol...where would I be without its wealth of knowledge)

25 things + 1 about me (stolen from facebook of course)

1. My number one weakness is chocolate...in ice cream, and milk, hot chocolate, with peanut butter, and whip cream, with caramel and nougat, or just by itself...With it you can win my heart.

2. I love the sight of fresh snow...when it's still in powder form and white (not the brown slush it turns to when it is plowed to the side of the road). I do however hate this "wintry mix" b.s. Snow + freezing rain + hail = a whole lot of slushy mess....ewwwww! AND it messed up my Uggs...so not ok!

3. I love to talk, but I get really nervous speaking in front of large groups of people. I don't know how I made it through teaching a class without having my voice quiver one single time.

4. I expect too much of people...and I often think it's because I would do so much for them.

5. Tess, our equipment manager, is probably my most favorite person on campus. She always smiles at me and asks me how I'm doing...and the funny part is, I don't even think she knows my name. She just sees me as the only black assistant coach we have at Smith.

6. My dream wedding would be small and intimate (maybe on a beach, where I could theoretically be barefoot or in flip flops...not the old navy ones but some nice flat sandals)...however, because I know my family oh so well, I know they will want to make this a grand occasion ESPECIALLY if I'm the first grandchild to get married.

7. I also want a bad ass ring...one that screams "I'm taken", but at the same time is dainty and simple just like me (very contradictory I know)

8. I indulge in the fact that I'm a southern girl...and make sure to be as polite as possible to all the crabby northerners that surround me everyday. However, I can flip the switch to B*%^& mode with the quickness so don't ever take my kindness for weakness.

9. I do in fact "walk like this because I can back it up." Beyonce said it best...I do have a big ego.

10. I love weave...and I love changing my hair like I change my underwear. I really have an affinity for textured hair and since mine doesn't have natural curls, I buy hair that does. Plus I love long hair...except that when I wear it long, I only wear it in a pony tail...odd, I know.

11. Movies that make me cry are the best...the end. (despite the fact that I hate for people to see me cry)

12. I'm learning that over time things will change...and instead of fighting it with a baseball bat, I'm starting to embrace it. People come in and out of your life. Life is never as planned, and all I can do is roll with the punches.

13. I can't decide about the children issue. Some days I want a sandlot full, and other days I can't see myself taking care of another human being. Selfishness has never been one of my better traits (Plus I don't want to get fat...plain and simple). I have however started a baby name list...except they are all girl names, and everyone knows I only want boys...ok...maybe ONE little princess.

14. I'm always hungry and sleepy...ALWAYS. I'm not really sure why...but I am. I can eat you out of a house and home with out a problem, and then hibernate like a bear for days at a time. Sleep has even taken over me watching my tv shows...so you know it's something serious.

15. I love pumps, stilettos, and anything else that can put 4-5inches on my frame. I like being tall because it makes me feel in command...and it does something to my swag when I strut in them.

16. I wish I could stay in my 20s forever. I just don't want to get old. I don't want wrinkles or cellulite...hence the reason why it is so important to me to workout (which I've been slacking on) and get plenty of beauty sleep.

18. I'm afraid of hips. I see my mom's and aunts and they look like they have 2 midgets hanging on to the side of them. They said they come from having babies...so maybe that'll be another reason why I might not have any.

19. The most efficient way to contact me is to text me. I'd prefer to type than talk any day...and my blackberry is almost always attached to some part of my body.

20. I finally went to the movies by myself...and aside the fact that there was a guy smoking weed in the theatre, I think me, myself, and I had a very nice date. Can't wait to do it again.

21. I'm so enthused about going to the beach as soon as I can get away from MA...however, I don't like to swim, or be in water for that matter so I don't know where this excitement comes from. I just simply want to tan...and walk around in my swimsuit without people wondering why I'm always half naked.

22. I'm named after my daddy. His name is WalLACE...so my mom took the last four letters and added and E' to get LACEE'. I hated my name until I got to high school and then I loved the fact that I was different. I am now obsessed with my double E, so I want to add that to my kid's name.

23. I'm the messiest person you will ever meet...but I always know where to find things in my house. I've accepted the fact that I will hire a "Magdalena" or "Patricia" to come clean my house from time to time once I get married...of course the hubby will never know ;-)

24. I'm a track-fene. I check results constantly...thank God for my handy dandy crackberry. I always want to know what's going on...

25. I'm a numbers person. When I was younger and just learning about taxes, I used to calculate the taxes on my mom's groceries (in my head) before the cashier could do so at the register. Now they've upgraded and it beats me to it.

26. I like to people watch...and make up stories about their lives. Weird...I know.

simple randomness

Sooooo...life has been semi-hectic since my last post.

- My J-term class that I taught ended. I really enjoyed teaching and my students were amazing. Plus the girl I co-taught with is simply amazing and I think we now have begun the start of a great friendship. The class was extremely intense with 9 days of 3 hour classes plus labs, so as a teacher that meant an immense amount of grading and lecturing, and a lack of sleep for two weeks.

-We had a track meet (which was an in betweener on the horrible-to-great scale.) We had one girl qualify automatically for nationals in the pole vault and another couple for division III new england championships. We also had a host of personal bests, however everyone just seemed flat due to the 3 weeks of 2-a-days.

- I, myself, competed in 2 track meets. I long jumped in both, and sprinted and triple jumped in the 2nd one. It was an interesting experience and it totally made me realize just how much I really miss competing. Coaching is great (and I wouldn't trade it for the world) but if I could compete every so often I think I would get my adrenaline fix and that would be wonderful. I would like to say that my jumps were only 4 inches and 1 inch, respectively, off where I opened last year AFTER 5 months of training. This was purely fun, with little to no training, so I'm not sure if I should be happy that "I've still got it" or if I should be ticked because I feel like I never achieved my full potential in college.

- Spring semester has officially started which in turn has brought me tremendous grief and irritation. The last few days I feel as though I've been simply going through the motions of life because I've been so upset and dismantled. I'm trying to drop a class but one faculty member in particular is making it extremely difficult. My teaching assignment was also changed, which made me a little upset because I spent time developing the class and now I feel like it's all in vain. I like my new assignment, but I don't like the fact that I didn't have much of a decision in the matter.

-The snow has taken over my life. Point blank. The end.

***outside of the gym (my second home)

- I think I've lost a best friend...not really sure what to do about the situation so...

- I'm unsure how I feel about the upcoming "single awareness day" aka valentine's day. I mean I'm not single by any means...but it's just never been one of my favorites and despite being in a relationship I will still have to celebrate it alone :-/

-Our track team is dwindling...every few days someone else quits. I like the idea of the power in numbers, but the ones who are sticking around are the meat and potatoes of the team so maybe we should think of quality over quantity.

- I found a new coffee shop that I love...haven't exactly tried the coffee, but the hot chocolate is the bomb.dot.com.

- I had an emotional breakdown in my adviser's office earlier this week...I hate when people see me cry because it shows my vulnerability and I think she was just as shocked because she says I'm "one tough cookie."

- I'm extremely grateful (this week) for Felicia (my lone black homegirl here), ALL of the track coaches, Michelle (my boss), Jane (my advisor), Jen (my new bff/coffee shop buddy/teaching partner), Sheila (old faithful), and HIM (for simply understanding me better than I sometimes understand myself)

- Oh yeah...I got straight A's for the first time since high school...whoop whoop for me lol

Sorry for the long post...been a mad crazy week. All I need in this life right now is SLEEP.

80s day!!!!

Not much has gone on since I last posted. We got snowed in on Sunday so we had to cancel our Dartmouth meet. I was actually happy because I hate the fact that my girls have like 10 indoor meets when I'm so used to competing in a mere 4...also, I was grateful for the down time Sunday so that I could 'get my mind right' for my first official class as a TEACHER!!!!!

Tuesday was my first real lecture and according to my athletes (2 are in my class), I did not screw up and I was super adorable holding my laptop in one hand and a piece of chalk in the other. Yes you read right...I refuse to print my notes until I have the entire 13 lessons complete. I already have 30 pages so there is no need to waste trees...we're supposed to be going green anyway, right?

Practice has been sweet this week...and we even had a themed day today. YAY for 80s day!!!! I absolutely love the Jane Fonda look of the eighties workout gear and pretty much the entire team AND coaches participated in the dress up day. Here are a few pics:


***my official "work wife," Shannon...yay! for being a coach

P.S. I'm officially back on my work-out game...look for me in London 2012 (lol)

2008 in Review

While everyone was anxiously awaiting the arrival of 2009, I simply did not want the year to end. 2008 was by far NOT the best year of my life...but is surely wasn't the worst. So this post is dedicated to the recap of my year in all its wonderful-ness and disappointment.

In 2008...

I had my heart broken...AND I fell in love all over again. My love life was nothing short of a roller coaster...but as always, I'm a stronger, more confident woman who is still learning many things about myself. CHEERS to the lucky man who holds my heart in his hands.


I finished my track career (still contemplating a comeback...lol) with ANOTHER conference championship. I started as a lowly walk-on who passed out the first day of practice, and I emerged as an integral part of the team. While I was never the most talented, the size of my heart could never be questioned. My coaches saw something in me from the beginning, and I am forever grateful for them believing in me and simply giving me a 'chance.'



I officially became a Rice alum. All of my hard work from the last four years paid off when I walked through that Sallyport and saw my ENTIRE family waiting for me. I will never forget that
moment...

***yes this is my outfit from graduation...Houston heat is NOT what's up in mid May


I officially became a grown-up...well in my eyes anyway. I moved 2000 miles away from what I've called home for the last 22 years of my life and began my life in the not so great state of Massachusetts. It's cold, I'm lonely, and I really don't have any friends (well a select few anyway)...HOWEVER...while some days are better than others...AND I often question why the heck I moved out here...IF I had to do it all over again...I wouldn't change a thing BECAUSE I've been afforded the opportunity to see something different...to live outside my comfort zone...to chase my dream...and simply just grow the heck up.



I realized the value of the relationships I have built over my lifetime. It's semi-sad that I had to move 2000 miles away...but hey, I've always been hard head and stubborn. My family and friends are my support system. Without them I would not be the person I am today...and for that I will ALWAYS love them. It's true when they say, you go to college to find your bridesmaids and NOT your husband. I have the best friends a girl could ask for and I wouldn't trade them for the world.







In 2009...

I simply want to become a better ME. I want to smile more...inspire someone...love harder...live freely...and make a difference is some one's life. I want to make this world a better place because I'm in it...and I really don't think that's too much to ask of myself.